try 3

We chose a new donor. I don't love him like I loved "Dann" but we got too attached that time. This new guy is a good guy. Healthy, smart, a little funny. His english is worse, so he comes out with some amusing shit. Favorite car - "I cherish the Ferrari for its supremecy." Who doesn't?

We inseminated last night. This was our first real try, a valid try, correctly timed and correctly executed. Every hour counted. Jen left work early, got the sperm, walked the dogs. I left work early without really explaining myself, wedged myself into the train that was miraculously waiting at the station when I got to the platform, and zipped uptown, nervous as a hurricane. I felt the same way I do on a plane. Excited and terrified at the lack of control. I listened to rap and techno to focus myself. The remix of Dreamgirls' "One Night Only" really hit the spot.

The insemination was unexpectedly hot. We have the logistics of the situation down, so its less of a slapstick event. Jen is still nervous but less so. And anyway, we just seem to be on a hot streak for the moment. So somehow it just translated the event from a weird, clinical "stick long object into lady" type thing into an actual sexual experience. Which was sexy and sweet.

After we chilled, drank wine, jen elevated her pelvis (although I think she's bad at it. I said she was the worst pelevator ever). It was a fun night. And after I felt so calm and relaxed. If a baby comes out of this, I'm sure I'll freak out again, but for the time being, I feel back in control, and i think we did a great job.

Now we wait.

disappointment

Our favorite donor of all time - Dann - was bought up. There were 20 vials left a few days ago and now there are 0 vials left. Dann was great. Now we have to find someone new.

new year

We did not get pregnant from the November insemination.

The holidays were completely out of control, running places to see different family members, Jen and I ended up apart for most of Christmas. It was truly horrible. The best part is that my mom saw how miserable I was, and we've made arrangements so it doesn't happen again. We'll just have to drive around like maniacs next year. Maybe if we have a baby by then we can get off the hook.

We're trying again this month. January. I feel good about it. We've learned that Jen has a pretty good grasp on her cycle now, she gets feelings about when ovulation is going to happen and the feelings are right. So she's steering the ship in terms of timing now.

We've been having totally hot sex. I wish I ejaculated sperm, cause this would be a fucking done deal.