I've been charting my fertility using temperatures and opks *and* a fertility monitor along with observation of my fertile mucous, of course. Everything's been pretty normal, generally I ovulate on day 12/13, and have a 12-14 day luteal phase.

Right now I'm on day 7 and I've been crazy with lust for the past 2 days. I have no idea what's going on. I wondered if maybe I was ovulating earlier than expected and did an OPK, even though I normally wouldn't think they'd be positive til day 11 at least. One yesterday afternoon and one last night and they both came out positive, hardcore. Fertile mucous abounds. But my temperature hasnt risen yet, and my monitor gave a low reading this morning. Maybe I'm ovulating today? I have some cramps and my body is basically just raging to fuck. I am struggling through the day with the help of youtube lword videos and fanfiction and pouncing on poor Jen at night. I have new sympathy for middle school boys with uncontrollable urges.
I dreamt the other night that Jen and I had a baby boy. We were out at dinner, talking happily about the baby when we realized that we each thought the other had arranged a sitter but neither of us had and we had left our newborn son alone, outside, and starving.

We freaked out and raced to the rooftop cafe where we had left him. He was in an infant seat, covered by a sort of baby cocoon/blanket. I saw him wave his arm and heard him cry and we laughed in relief because he wasn't dead. A waitress at the cafe saw us and snidely remarked "Yeah, laugh because your son didn't die of thirst. Hilarious."

We took him inside then, and I had to breastfeed him, he was so hungry. But I had never breastfed him before, I realized they hadn't explained how to do it at the hospital or anything. I was really worried, but I just put him to my breast and everything was fine, he got milk, he calmed down, he fell asleep.

Even asleep, I reminded myself that Jen and I would never do something a ridiculous as leaving a newborn unattended and exposed to the elements. It was a horrible dream, but somewhat reassuring.

Really too, I think it was about my fish. I hadn't changed his water in a while, it was freaking me out.


Beginning again. In earnest

Last night Jen and I went to that orientation for Callen Lorde's Alternative Insemination program. A lot of the information given was stuff we knew, since we've been around the babycrafting block a few times. But it was great to get all our knowledge confirmed, by a medical staff who is extremely enthusiatic about helping lesbians procreate. Honestly, I've never heard anyone say the word "mucous" with such joy in their voice before.

There were a few other couples at the orientation. I often wonder why it is that Jen and I don't hang out with too many other lesbians, and I always come to the conclusion that we just don't move in the same circles. Plus, the few times I did try hanging out with lesbians, some of them told me I wasn't lesbian enough and hit on my girlfriend when I was in the bathroom. Those were grad school bitches, so I'll put it down to the competitive spirit of theory, but it didn't lead to any lasting connections, that's for sure. Once in a while i think it would be nice to have some lesbians to talk about lesbianiac stuff with - but I muddle through. You can dissect the L word with gay boys, you can talk about OPKs with straight people who are trying to have babies. It all works out. Point being, its very rare that jen and I are in a room with other lesbian couples, at least a room that doesn't have happy hour specials posted somewhere.

I tried not to pay too much attention to the others, because I know me. Any time I'm supposed to be doing something serious and quiet, like church or a lecture, then all I want to do is alternately stare at everyone around me and giggle to my companion. Jen's very Mary Ingalls about it and hates it when I misbehave like this. Plus there were only like, 12 people in that room. Everyone would have known I was the total creep. So I tried to be good. But I still managed to break the zipper on my coat and mix up the papers from my packet and Jen's and get Jen to footsie me at least one time.

Some of the others were more nervous than we were. The information was newer to them, and its alot of information, and daunting. When I said I had been charting for 2 months already they were all quite impressed, which of course, I loved. It is always my goal to be the premiere lesbian.

After the presentation we signed up for our enrollment visit with Jennifer, the head of the AI program. The chick who loves mucous so much. We meet with her Feb 20 to go over my medical records, our plans for a donor, all the basics.

As we walked out into the night I turned to Jen, "My favorite thing was knowing that after it was over, we were going to talk about everything together."

She squeezed my arm.

I hesitated. I knew it was wrong, but it was important. "Plus, we were totally the cutest couple in there."

"Oh, yeah, definitely the cutest."