We've decided our first insemination will be in august, because of finances mainly, and because things are kind of wild this month and next with work and weddings and acitivities. We need some quiet time, some time spent together, some time to organize our thoughts and do this proprely. August.

I'm frustrated though, since the insemination has had to be postponed. I belong to a livejournal community about women trying to conceieve (lesbians_ttc) and people just seem to be constantly posting about using fresh sperm and hey, since its fresh and free, why not just rush heedlessly into using it right this very second? Its just irritating when we have to be so deliberate about every move we make. I wish we had a lot more money, or some free fresh sperm. I wish someone would just crawl out of the woodwork, and be perfect and smart and generous and give us their semen for free until we conceive and then disappear again forever. What a fucked up wish. A magical semen font.

The other day, we went to a friend's party, a party that was chock full of lovely gay men. I was having a wonderful time, but I was also sitting there coveting their sperm. I'm really becoming disturbed.

I'm trying hard not to become bitter... I know the way we're doing things is the way we need to do them, what is appropriate for us. But I really want this. I feel like we're stuck at stage -1.