Ordering drama. Much of it.

I called the sperm bank to tell them I had given them the wrong address for delivery to the doctor's office. They were fine about that, but while they were on the phone, I realized I should make sure we were on the same page about this specimin being used for ICI, not IUI.

"This specimen is for ICI, right?"

"No, this is for IUI."

"Well, we want to use it for ICI."

"I guess its up to you..."

I hung up, realized I was entirely dissatisfied with that conversation and called back. Before I called back though, I spoke with Jen about what we would do if there was not an ICI specimen available for our donor, H807. We agreed on another donor we had considered in the past.

"So umm...We are doing ICI. Is this a washed specimen or unwashed?"

"This? This is washed."

"Oh, but for ICI we need unwashed."

"Well, you could try with washed."

"But that isn't going to work. I know that won't work."

"Well. You could try."

"I don't think so. Do you have any specimens for this donor that are unwashed?"


"Well, what donors do you have unwashed specimens for?"

"Oh, they're all washed!"



"All the specimens are washed?!"


"Well, I'm sure this isn't your area, but on your website you list that you have specimens available for ICI for some donors. If you only have washed specimens, that is not true. You shouldn't say that!"


"I need to cancel my order."

Jen was disappointed, but I, being the one who had this asinine conversation, and a few equally frustrating ones before it, I was all ready to not use that sperm bank and use someone who maybe had a clue or a shred of professionalism.

The one who had been the most together on the phone was Cryos International aka Scandinavian Sperm Bank. I had been hestitant about using them because their donors are uh...scandinavian, which I most certainly am not. But if its between a pale baby and a sperm bank that is gonna give me a fucking hassle and send me sperm that is sure to not work, I'll take a pale baby. We went back over the Cryos donors and Jen and I both got excited about the same guy.

6'1, 170 lbs. He likes reading and astin martins and Media Studies. He wrote a very sweet note on his application that says he would be very proud if we pick him. He should be fucking proud. while all the Scandinavians we look at seemed healthy and polite and smarter, or at least MUCH better educated than the avg american, this donor seems to be among the smartest and sweetest of the bunch.

We signed the requisite forms, faxed 'em in, placed our order, no problem. The lady on the phone was soooooo much more clear and informative. AND, although this is still an unknown donor deal, we can order a baby picture of our donor. Which I just did. Which will be emailed to me shortly. Which is freaking me out. The lady on the phone said he was a cute baby!

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