First november insemination

We inseminated twice this month.

First insemination. Jen picked up the tank on friday before thanksgiving week. Two straws of semen. Approximately 16-30 million sperm ride home on the subway with Jen.

We wait for signs of ovulation. Things seem to be progressing normally for Jen to ovulate on the 12th day of her cycle. Two especially good signs - we're seeing ferning when we examine Jen's spit in the ovulation microscope and her OPKs are showing a darkening second line. We feel confident this won't be one of those longer cycles. We decide to inseminate late at night on the 11th day and during the day on the 12th day, covering as big of a window of time when an egg is likely to be present as possible.

One thing continues to trouble us though - a lack of fertile mucous. Every book and pamphlet and bossy lesbian on the internet says that fertile mucuous is the KEY element in conception. Without fertile mucous the sperm will never make it up to the egg. But we see none. What the FUCK?

On the 11th day, Jen sees some fertile mucous. Tiny fertile mucous, but it thrills us. We decide to go ahead as planned, go into the bedroom and attempt to get Jen arosed. That fails miserably. We sort of get her there, she gets exhasperated, and tells me just to stick the semen in. A few weeks ago, we ordered "Pre-seed," lube that is specifically formulated to aid in conception, or at least not kill sperm like other lubes do. I break out the Pre-seed to assist in this situation.

Hilariously, Pre-seed comes prepackaged in these large pointy plastic applicatiors that you are supposed to insert into your dry vagina and use to squeeze the lube into the vaginal canal. Eschewing that extremely uncomfortable route, I just squeeze some out, apply it with my much more comfortable and less pointy fingers, slide the sperm applicator in, and uh...applicate it.

Jen chills for a full hour with a glass of wine and an elevated pelvis, rotating every 15 minutes to get the sperm to coat the cervix.

"I feel something." she says "I feel movement".