5.10.2009

Where've I been?

I've been getting a physical and taking prenatal vitamins and proving that I don't have AIDS or syphilis or toxoplasmosis. There was a lot of blood letting and several doctors and everyone says with surprise in their voice "There's nothing wrong with you!?" I don't think they're surprised that it's *me*, I think they just rarely see people with no problems at all.

Anyway, all that and two weeks ago I trotted back to Callen Lorde with my documentation in hand and got cleared to inseminate. A few days after that, we bought our sperminos and had them shipped over to CL. The shipping was a slightly stressful part, the bank shipped FedEx and for some strange reason that meant they had to be shipped from lower manhattan to Jersey before turning around and being delivered in Chelsea. That made no sense at all and pissed me off. But they got there in a timely fashion, and right when I asked them to, so it doesn't really matter. It was just nonsensical.

So now the sperms are there. Waiting for me to inseminate. We are doing my next cycle. Which is good, because this current cycle turned out to be a major weirdo. Which very rarely happened to me, over the 7 months I've been charting in earnest. Its slightly freaking me out, but then again, I did have the swine flu...or at least a bad flu earlier in the cycle. I'm just trying to stay calm and focus on being healthy and ready for next cycle. Which will be textbook. Right?

We've been telling more people that we're trying for a kid...namely our families. We've both mentioned it to them before, and they were all at least somewhat enthusiastic, but it's been so long, that we kind of had to be like, no really, really seriously, we mean like, soon (hopefully). My dad called up the other day and councilled me that this might not be the best time, with the economy as it is, with me working on finishing my MLS, with a lot of stuff, that's all true but doesn't change my mind. I listened to him. But it was sort of frustrating, especially coming hot on the heels of (literally minutes after) a male friend of mine saying some of the exact same things. I politely tried to explain to both of the that Jen and I did think about our own financial security, that we had a plan we were satisfied with and happy about, that no time is ever perfect for having a child, and that I'm 29, almost 30, and I don't really fucking feel like waiting another 10 years to have a kid, nor do I think that would be an efficient way to accomplish the goals that I have for myself and my family. AND that starting to try now doesn't mean the same thing as getting pregnant right now, it could take 6 months, it could take years if we uncover some secret issue, and so I might as well get started now, and if it works, count myself lucky.

I know they were both trying to look out for me, and no one forced an opinion on me, they just said their peice and I was like, yeah, no, and we left it at that. But it was irritating. I sort of vented about it to the midwife at CL, embarrassingly. A week later, my mom was like, your dad told me what he said, you're not listening to him right? She was totally behind us. I feel like I'm sort of getting beckoned over to join some mom club, because sure, lots of people are being supportive and are excited about this potential baby, but moms especially are like, YES, join us! Now, I don't know what they do in the moms' club, it seems like there's a lot of discussion of vaginal tearing, at least at the beginning, but there must be some cooler stuff too right?

Anyway moms, future moms, potential moms, hypothetical moms - Happy Mother's Day.







1 comment:

Laura said...

1st. There is no right time to have a baby. I hate when people try and project that on you. Looking back had I known that 2 weeks before I delivered Freddy that Frank would have been out of a job, ya maybe we would have waited, but really it just gave us more time together as a family.
2nd. Speaking as a mom, join us! I can tell you all about tearing and the mucus plug and other gross crap, but mostly I can tell you how wonderful and amazing you will feel! And how your relationship will get deeper and you will feel so much more love.
Let me know if you want to chat or want to vent!
Laura